Happy Holidays from Ryan Wendell Bauer & the MIDI Sixteen!
lyrics
Twas the night before Christmas
And the party was listless
We all just wanted to dance
When suddenly appeared
A fat dude with a beard
He said let me have a chance
The name is DJ Santa Claus
And I'm telling you the truth
His boots left snowy footprints
As he waddled to the booth
In a flash, with mad panache
He set up all his gear
He said drink your beer
And shake your rear
I do this 364 days a year
And I've checked my list of girls and boys
The bad get coal the good get toys
But every one will get some Christmas joys
Cause I'm gonna rock you with my noise
All of the sudden that needle dropped
The record crackled, hissed, and popped
You should have heard him scratch and chop
That North Pole shit could not be stopped
He loosened up his belt
And took a swig of beer
He busted out his Santa sack
To spread some Christmas cheer
Here's an Echoplex for Katherine
And a Tribe LP for Joe
He got a new surf board for Billy
But he really wanted snow
Some pimp-ass cans for Cameron
And a brand new beard for Jack
Then he got to Ryan broke down and started cryin'
He said "I want Michael Jackson back."
And a baseball cap for Neal
God damn, this can't be real
He passed on Chris, he got pissed
He said you are on my naughty list
Sucka went and grabbed a chair
And threw it through the air
It knocked out Suzie's two front teeth
But he didn't even care
Out on the dance floor there arose such a clatter
Bones are breaking bottles shatter
Then Saint Nick packed up all his platters
He said you guys don't know what really matters
See the only thing that's real
Besides these wheels of steel
Is the warmth and love in all of us
That everyone can feel
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